Don’t judge me

Ha, let me give a brief on myself. I am a 30 year old half Nigerian (Yoruba) young lady. I have a career as a financial math professional. We won’t even get into what that’s all about. I say it that way cos it makes me feel smart. I am single and attempting to mingle, and it feels like I have signed up to be a part of an un-themed circus. It’s just all over the damn place. I currently live in Lagos, I repatriated 2.5 years ago from NY by way of the Middle East. I won’t tell you where exactly.

Anyways today’s story is about Senahdor. Well I’ll call him Senadhor cos he lives in Abuja and he is a PA to a Senadhor. He is a Yoruba dude that originally from Lagos. He was introduced by a mutual friend. I guess I shoulda known this Negro was off kilter based on the person who did the introduction. Anyways I noticed this dude was always tryna bring in “the kind of woman you are: is” type speeches. I have always wondered what gives people the audacity to judge the kind of person “you are” within such a short period of knowing you. Is it that these people need to feel validated on their “psycho-analysis” of you? I don’t get it really.

I had generally thought to myself, alright this guy thinks he knows when even I cannot predict myself on a good day, someone is busy psychoanalyzing me? I was like hmmp if I need a psychotherapist I would get one. I am only trying to date. This is the same fool who at 30, he had never been in a relationship. I am starting to believe that’s a lie, he probably presented past situations as relationships, cos are there really that many young Nigerian women who are willing to be cut buddies? Needless to say I hugged him a few times and the size of his manhood was lacklustre, so I am really wondering if his ego is just bigger than his reality. Mm kay.

Anyways after a month of listening to his daily rants about his opinion of me, and a few dates on the occasions he came into Lagos, I got upset. My exact words were “what gives you the right to proffer you f**king opinion on me”? You barely know me”. I was vexed. Coulda probably handled it a bit better, but I had pretty much had enough. I was like eew what gives, your d*ck is small, you don’t go down on chicks, you think rough sex should be had with other chics outside of your matrimonial home, really what’s your benefit in my life? It aint like you got a mansion that I can slide into in Ikoyi or something. Dudes just be making me tired I swear. Anyways after yelling at him to keep shut, he stopped BBing me or calling me. I am kind of glad he did, I was tryna get rid of him after he said he believes that certain sexual exploits shouldn’t be had with his wife, since that is the mother of his children and he will feel like he is defiling her, so it should be reserved for the jump offs. I shoulda slapped the taste out of his mouth, but I just smiled.

Nothing Else Significant to Report (NESTR).

PS: Maybe tomorrow I’ll write on “bros” or “stamina” or “Ibadan” or “bottles”. Those are currently the men on the Table.

The Bubblegum Thug!